I struggle with this. I’m a people pleaser. It takes digging deep, really acting with your gut and staying true to yourself.
The truth is, people are uncomfortable with changes. And although it seems counterintuitive, even more uncomfortable with elevating your circumstances. Positive Lifestyle changes.
Why? It shines a BIG BRIGHT spotlight on their own insecurities, weakness, and failed attempts at getting themselves out of a stuck place.
It makes people evaluate their OWN stuck place, even if you’re not asking them to.
Especially when you make BIG MOVES. The higher you climb, the lonelier it is at the top is a true fact.
People expect you to stay the same. Misery loves company right?
People get uncomfortable with:
Money/ Wealth
Success (Accolades)
And Health choices such as losing weight/ getting into shape
Even if they don’t say ANYTHING it changes the relationship and energy between you and the people around you.
Ever had someone make backhanded compliments like “geez you need to eat a cheeseburger, you’re so skinny”
It’s not really about you, it’s about them.
You aren’t doing anything wrong, except maybe exuding a new level of confidence that you didn’t before.
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You may lose people.
You may become intolerable to be around.
And that’s OKAY.
It’s helpful to mentally prepare for the shift.
It will get worse before it gets better.
Along with rebuilding your life, you’ll need to rebuild your tribe with people who are more aligned with your ascension.
For me it was and still is entrepreneurs and people into fitness wellness.
I’ve found that that the more time I’ve spent as a a business owner/ entrepreneur, the less I click with people that have a 9-5.
I have a “from when my eyes open to when my eyes shut”.
If I’m not “doing” something in my businesses or fitness lifestyle, I’m thinking about it.
And I’m aware that this is not super fun to be around for people that don’t have similar interests.
I’m passionate, intense, opinionated, and driven.
I’m also very protective of my time. I kind of do what I want when I want to, including my schedule, where I work, where I workout. And since I don’t have a boss, I AM the BOSS.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t make time for people, but I’m busy, focused and particular”
“Uh you want to stay out until 11pm?” “yeah, no I workout at 5am everyday.”
“You want me to eat dessert? Sorry, I’m working towards my fitness goals”
“Coffee in the middle of the day? I’m seeing clients or writing”
See, the thing with people with flexible schedules is that we tend not to “Look” as busy as people with normal schedules.
Which is funny. Work never ever stops for people that are ascending.
If you’re not grinding, you’re planning.
And that’s the mindset.
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This is very confusing to people around you that aren’t in the same boat.
You always find yourself on the verge of explaining why you’re living your life the way that you do. Until one day, you stop.
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Which is hard, because you’re excited about your accomplishments, like you should be!
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So, obviously cutting people out of your life is a hard process. You can try STRONG boundaries first.
Boundaries look like:
Emotional (This isn’t a topic I’m willing to discuss)
Time (I can’t do that today)
Mental (I respect that you disagree with my opinion, but don’t force your own)
Material (Do not park in my parking space)
Physical (I don’t find comments like that funny)
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And if that doesn’t work and the people you are struggling with have poor boundaries then you may consider lightning your inner circle or changing it altogether.
To surround yourself with people who count Ws with you.
A real TRIBE who will say “OKAY, AHHH mazing, what’s next?”
Level up or stay stuck.
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We struggle to get to the next level when we listen to negativity.
The truth is, your dreams are yours and yours alone. The only people who should be giving you advice are those that
- You pay for and have no emotional attachment to you other than a boundaried client/ professional relationship
- That are your HYPE people
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And you’re asking:
“Sounds good, but what if I don’t trust MYSELF to make good choices?”
OR
“What if I don’t have anyone?”
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Consulting a professional that has loads of experience is always a good idea.
BUT you have to first listen to your inner voice.
Do you think very successful people had a bunch of people telling them that they’re crazy?
Heck yes, they did.
